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Tom Cruise Is Our Next President

By Katey Rich: 2008-05-15 11:13:12

Tom Cruise Is Our Next President Well, given all those rumors of Scientology’s power over the entire world, it was only a matter of time before Tom Cruise became our fearless leader. OK, OK, don’t panic. He’ll just play our fearless leader, in an upcoming thriller called The 28th Amendment. If you’re running to Wikipedia to figure out which amendment that is (as I did), stop right there! There is no 28th Amendment… yet. Will President Cruise enact one that lets you become President if you’ve been unfairly denied an Oscar at a certain point in your career?

Moviehole confirmed that Cruise will take the role, with Denzel Washington co-starring as a the head of a super-secret organization that actually controls the government. You mean like the Masons? Or the Skull and Bones society? Phillip Noyce, who made Patriot Games and the recent, excellent political thriller Catch a Fire among others, will direct.

No one turned out to see Cruise play a cocky senator in last fall’s Lions for Lambs, so do you think we’ll want to see him as President as well? Cruise is in the middle of a big attempt at a career turn-around, and seems to be foiled at every attempt—his top-secret cameo in Tropic Thunder was spoiled months ago, and Valkyrie is plagued by delays and rumors that it’s not good. Could this be his chance to make us love him again? After all, we’re suckers for a depiction of a decent President, given the way things are going now. So long as he doesn’t let Xenu be his co-pilot, I think I’d be willing to sing “Hail to the Chief.”



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  1. margo Says:

    That's a creepy scenario-
    Kind of like Scientologists infiltrating the government!

    Oh yea, that actually happened. Cruise as President? Yikes, wouldn't even RENT that movie.

  1. Here comes the joke Says:

    Isn't there a height requirement for becoming President?

  1. Anonymous Says:

    Guarantee the secret organisation is a pharmaceuticals company. Our hero, captain Scilon saves America from the crippling regime of terror that is drugs companies

  1. Kaycee Says:

    Creepy Deepy....You couldnt pay me to watch any of his movies.

    Sucks for Denzel...sorry you gotta deal with the crazies!

  1. Ben Says:

    well...$cientology knows a little something about infiltrating governments.

    google: Operation Snow White

    I won't see any Tom Cruise movie. He's always pushing the agenda of his cult.

  1. Janey Says:

    Scientology is not just a vicious cult, it's a CRIMINAL RACKET. I am going to boycott this film and I'm sure that millions of others will also boycott it. Please visit http://www.xenu.net and http://www.youfoundthecard.com to learn more.

  1. KeeKee Says:

    When TC announces that he has left the "Cult" of Scientology then I'll go see or rent one of his movies. Until then, no way. That goes for any celebrity that has anything to do with the CoS.


    Tom - the first one to talk gets immunity - the rest go to jail!

  1. John Boy Says:

    Hmm, well as a movie viewer I find it really hard to take Tom Cruise seriously anymore. I think his off-screen antics make his on-screen characters unbelievable. For example, how can I forget that in real life, he's constantly bashing psychiatry as if he is the only one who knows how the mind works - oh wait, that's something he actually said about himself, so he must believe it. He also clearly thinks his mission in life is to "clear" the planet and convert it to an all-Scientology mecca. I'm pretty sure that's not a world I want to live in, so I just say no thanks Tom Cruise, and watch something else.

  1. Roland Deschain Says:

    Let's see - Cruise torpedoed "War of the Worlds" by ranting about Brooke Shields, depression and Scientology; his reputation pretty much tanked "Lions for Lambs" (aside from the fact that that movie was just bad); this same reputation got him axed from Paramount (and his fellow "believers" failed to intimidate Paramount to change their minds); and "Valkyrie" looks to be one of the stinkiest films to come out (if it ever does) since "Battletoads: Earth"; now he's got Oprah trying to help him salvage his pointless and unimportant career and he wants to play the President?

    I don't think any amount of UA marketing is going to convince anyone (other than Scientologists) that Cruise's career isn't circling the bowl right about now.

    Maybe he should try a sequel to "Legend"?

  1. Anonymous Says:

    This is Scientology's dry run at world domination.

  1. Max Champion Says:

    Damn. I need my heroes to be, well, heroic. Or at least credible. There's no point in me seeing this film. Which is a crying shame because Denzel is a genius.

  1. Rose Says:

    Surely there are more worthwhile actors to play this role....Like even a completely unknown actor. Phillip Noyce and Denzel are drawcards....but Cruise is a completely turn off...I won't pay to watch this. Even prior to his scientology rants I was not a fan, and I don't think you can be half a scientologist...You are either one or you're not...That's his view and spin can't hide it.

  1. roger gonnet Says:

    I don't know if I was the first - 3 or 4 years ago - to announce that it was evident that the cult wanted to have Cruise as US president, but I did indeed.
    It would be a catastrophe to elect such a polyschizophrenic as US president: Tom Cruise believes indeed that his body contains many other human beings to whom he must speak telepathically so as to expulse them and remain the patron. It's enough to make someone almost crazy, since such parasites do not exist. That invention comes from the super-secret level that scientology calls "The Wall of Fire," or "OT III". Hubbard was insane and is making a whole civilization of insane members. They can only be cured of their insanity when they finally realize they have been had - like I realized it years ago.

  1. Mike Says:

    Get a life you lot. Cruise is an incredible actor and if you can't see that then maybe you should try separating an actor's personal and professional life.

  1. cadylee Says:

    Tom Cruise is perfect man! he still had many fans on largemingle c o m, it is also a nice daitng site for celebrity big beautiful women, bbw, bhm and their admirers to interact each other.

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