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news:blended 12.1 - 12.7By Ed Perkis: 2007-12-08 12:59:08
 New trailers and stills came out for some pretty big movies. Some looked great, others looked shitty. We also got the script for the biggest movie in a decade and learned about a remake no one asked for. Plus Nic Cage, Johnny Depp, and our top 5 fantasy films. Makes you almost forget Friday was Pearl Harbor Day. It shouldn’t. SATURDAY Stunning eco-drivel. Josh Tyler gets whatever he asks for. He asked someone to send him a script for James Cameron’s Avatar and he got it. I’m not sure that is what I would have asked the magic genie for, but to each his own, Josh. The script Josh read steals from both Quigly Down Under and the Ewok scenes in Return of the Jedi. There is also off the charts ecology thumping (that’s bible thumping for tree huggers.) Josh still thinks it will be good, but secretly I think it is because the main character is named Josh, at least in this script. SUNDAY America gets it right. Ed gets it wrong. America was smart enough to make Enchanted the top movie of the week. That’s good, because if good movies are rewarded, more good movies will be made. Unlike if America had embraced Fred Claus or Hitman. I was dumb enough to believe Woody Harrelson could play the Flash in Justice League of America. Bad info on another sites message board didn’t pass the smell test, but I went ahead and passed it on, dumbass. MONDAY Jackson rumors for Hobbitt could be true, or not. Nic wants to see the bucks, baby. It was reported on a website and then included in news:blended last week that Peter Jackson would be doing a 3D Hobbit. This week, another website is saying its not true. So now I’m being called a liar, sort of. I’m pretty sure this story is either completely, mostly, partially, or a little bit true. Or not. Either way, don’t call me a liar unless I’m actually lying, which will probably happen a few times in this blend. Nic Cage is no liar. He wants the money that comes with sequels, sequels, and more sequels. He also wants junkets to far off countries, ignoring the fact that his movie is called National Treasure, not Nic’s International Vacation and Movie. Nice try, Cage, you’re stuck in this country like everyone else. TUESDAY From McDonald’s to Osama, Spurlock is on the case. They’re doing a remake of what now? Morgan Spurlock made a movie that told America that fast food is bad for you. Seriously, it was big news. I’m not sure why. Now he is looking for Osama Bin Laden and is dropping hints that he has found him. These hints can also be considered “marketing bullshit,” but let’s just leave them as hints. Speaking of hints, we got one from a reader who said there is a remake planned for The Gate. If someone told me that they were making an original movie called The Gate, I wouldn’t have blinked. I’ve literally never heard of that movie and it’s not even very old. I guess it’s better than remaking Casablanca. WEDNESDAY Ohhhhhhhhh boy. Ohhhhhhhh crap. The first Prince Caspian trailer is online. It looks freakin’ awesome. I’m not sure about Peter and Edward’s hair, they both look like bad Peter Parker from Spider-Man 3. Everything else is great, though. Not so great is the behind-the-scenes footage from Speed Racer. Why release that? Are they trying to lower expectations so people will be wowed when they see it? I hope so. THURSDAY Fantasy films let us nerd out a little. Capn’ Jack to play Dillinger. Of course, we don’t need fantasy films to let our inner-nerds out. We are all nerds, all the time, here. We did vote on the top 5 fantasy films of all time and most of the usual suspects show up. There is probably one surprise, and one film I’ve never even watched. I’ll let my four readers try to guess amongst themselves which one. I will be seeing anything that teams director Michael Mann and chameleon Johnny Depp. They may team up for a film based on the life of John Dillinger. I’m blending it just based on my wish that it will happen, it sounds great. FRIDAY Dark Knight before Legend. Ohhhhhhh crap is right. I got a press pass to see the six minutes of The Dark Knight footage in Los Angeles last week. Unfortunately, I didn’t get it until the day after the screening. I was out of town anyway. The point is, you will be able to see it if you go see I Am Legend in IMAX starting next week. So let me know how it is. I already know how Speed Racer is based on the first trailer. Not so great. It looks bright and fake. I hope there is a great story. If you’re waiting for the great story to in Speed Racer, you are in trouble. That’s all for another week of news blending. It’s like what you get at Jamba Juice, but cheaper and not quite as healthy. If you liked it or didn’t, leave some feedback.
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December 9th, 2007 at 12:20
Pssst, it's Peter and EDMUND. ;)