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news:blended 7.14 to 7.20By Ed Perkis: 2007-07-20 23:03:51
 I was visiting our nation’s capital last week (that’s Washington D.C. for those of you in other nations) and couldn’t do the blend for you. I was hoping it would implode and the outcry would cause Josh to raise my salary to $6 a year, but no such luck. Rafe picked up the very, very little slack that my absence generates around here and did a great job. In fact, I’m just rerunning all his stuff as my own. SATURDAY Reliable source’s news unlikely to happen. Reliable source’s news more likely to happen. Our old Internet friend, Reliable Source, was out in force on Saturday. First Mr. Source told us that Pixar might make a sequel to Cars. Rafe listed several reasons why that shouldn’t and probably wouldn’t happen. He makes a lot of sense, which is why he’s not involved with movie making, so anything is possible. Then Reliable clued us (by “us” I mean society) in that The Simpson’s Movie (mmmmm, Simpsons) will have a teaser trailer for The Dark Knight (mmmmm, Batman.) Unlike the Pixar story, I hope this one is true. SUNDAY Harry Potter and the Order of the Moneymakers rules. Sometimes in our lives we all have pain, we all have sorrow. I just watched the Season 2 of “Extras” episode where Daniel Radcliffe guested and played himself as continually trying to get off with the female cast members. For the money he is bringing in, Warner Brothers should buy him all the companionship he desires. The latest Harry Potter movie made millions and is sure to make millions more. A just announced movie about a P.E. teacher who becomes principal against his will is certainly going to make a lot less than any of the Potter movies. But it might have dodgeball, which is a far superior activity to that stupid “Bewitched” based sport they play at Hogwarts. MONDAY Theaters give indies the finger. Japan does the same thing to Steve Carell. Summer is big budget movie time. Unless you only have a small budget and then you are pretty much screwed over. The many blockbusters, crummy or not, are pushing out the smaller movies so that we can’t even determine if they are crummy. With 23 screens at your local super-duper-pooper plex, isn’t there once screen for something with Parker Posey? Even Posey wouldn’t be able to save the continue bomb-a-liciousness that is Evan Almighty. Now Japan has rejected the whole movie, not even wanting their citizens to accidentally open the door and see a minute of Steve Carell talking to monkeys. TUESDAY Fans tell Josh to unlax. Josh earns fans respect…with Rafe’s work. Sometimes we write stories and our many fans comment in what is called the “comments section.” Simple, no? On Tuesday the comment section of several stories was hopping and readers told Josh to “unlax” about the possibility that Anthony Michael Hall will play The Riddler in The Dark Knight. Josh immediately unlaxed but that didn’t slow down our readers comments. Comments also played a big part in Rafe’s story about a remake of Troll, starring a character named….Harry Potter. A reader was impressed someone else remembered this movie and, frankly, I’m impressed that both of them would be interested in a movie about a fantasy world with wizards. Who’d be interested in that? WEDNESDAY The coolest thing on the web, ever. Not quite as cool as the above, but with Ron Howard. The Internet kinda sucks. Lame fan boys start websites so they can bore everyone with their pompous movie opinions. Not this website, of course, other ones. Anyway, the greatest thing in the history of the Net, the ability to turn yourself into a Simpson’s character has arrived in time for their upcoming movie. I can’t decide why this is so great, but I feel like I’ve been waiting for it for 18 years. You can’t turn yourself into a Ron Howard character for his adaptation of “The Emperor’s Children.” What’s the point? THURSDAY Casper the friendly ghost, the friendliest ghost you know…. Tom the friendly Nazi, the friendliest Nazi you know….. Sing, sing and song, sing out loud, sing out strong….. Entertainment Weekly said a big “we suck” about themselves on Thursday by putting together a list of the greatest CGI characters of all time. They totally made a cock of it, as they say on the far side of the pond (I think.) And yeah, Casper is on the list. Casper. Jesus. Speaking of religious figures, Tom Cruise is still playing a Nazi and now there are pictures to prove it. He should be careful, didn’t dressing up like a Nazi really jam up one of the royal brats? We did one of those CB Top 5 things on Thursday. This time it was the highly specialized category of “adapted from the stage movie musicals.” Or, as I like to call it, “Josh don’t want no Moulin Rouge.” That’s fine with me, I hated that movie, but then I also hated three of the five winners. I did like the one I voted for, though. FRIDAY Evan Almighty bomb does not slow down Steve. Robert Downey, Jr. apes Diana Ross. Contrary to the belief around my house, Steve Carell did not kill his career with Evan Almighty. He’s still doing the MS walk Thursdays on NBC and he’s also going to be in Get Smart. Some tidbits on the movie are popping up. Speaking of popping up, Anne Hathaway will play Agent 99. Nice. Not as sexy as Anne but still a fine looking man is Robert Downey, Jr. as Iron Man. A new picture of him with a part of the costume is out, so go see it if that floats your proverbial boat. That’s all for another week of news blending. It’s like what you get at Jamba Juice, but cheaper and not quite as healthy. If you liked it or didn’t, leave some feedback.
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