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news:blended 7.5 - 7.11By Ed perkis: 2008-07-12 10:57:53
 There are some movies opening this weekend. I’m encouraged to journey somewhere or other, to meet a particular person, or to observe a metal military force. That’s all well and good, but it’s all about The Dark Mother-Busting Knight for me. Like the Grinch said, it’s practically here. SATURDAY The correct answer is Emma Thompson. I’m already wishing this movie was over. We wrote a story about some movie with one of those Harry Potter kids and the comments section was taken over by fans trying to determine which actor is “better.” Neither is great, but it’s funny to watch since someone will write a fairly lengthy support for one and then the next person will say “OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG, I luvvvvvvvvvvv uuuuuuuuuuuuu Rupert!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.” That’s certainly a position I can’t argue with. I can, and do, argue with the amount of info coming out lately about Twilight. I was sick of this kids as vampires movie when they called it Lost Boys. It looks like we are going to be stuck with a series of attractive angsty vampire flicks. I am girding my loins for it. SUNDAY It’s about the global warming thing, stupid! I guess I thought we all had a little more taste. When you have to explain the trailer for your movie, you might have a problem. Trailers are supposed to be the explainers, as in “hey, here’s what our movie’s about.” That doesn’t mean The Day the Earth Stood Still is going to suck, it still has Keanu Reeves as the….. Oh, uh, nevermind. And speaking of things we should nevermind, Hancock made a lot of money last weekend. Boy, you folks must have been desperate to stay away from anything productive over the holiday weekend. That movie looks pretty shitty. MONDAY Apatow’s funny people not so funny. Just cause she’s dead, doesn’t mean she can’t make a movie. Judd Apatow can do no wrong on this site. Even Walk Hard is over-appreciated. All our bowing and scraping is finally paying off, since we got a few pages from his script for Funny People and get to tell you about it. We also get to tell you that Sigourney Weaver is up for yet another Alien movie. Maybe we can dig Marlon Brando out of his grave and do another Godfather movie while we are at it. TUESDAY Holy lousy movie, Batman! Star Wars….nothing but Star Wars….. In honor of the opening of The Dark Knight, Rafe is rewatching all of the previous Batman movies, good and bad. Seems to me there is more bad than good, but I guess we will find out. At this point, the Star Wars movies are tied, three good and three bad. Clone Wars can break the tie! No, actually, nothing will get the bad taste of Revenge of the Sith out of my mouth. WEDNESDAY Bruce Wayne is getting a lot richer. Elfquest Shmelfquest In the category of “news you could probably figure out yourself,” The Dark Knight is selling lots of advance tickets. Somewhere between 80 and 5,000,000,000. Get your advanced tickets now…or just go see it on Sunday, when there will be no trouble getting all the tickets you want. Be sure to save some money for Elfquest tickets. They have finally gotten around to talking about maybe thinking of a way to hire someone who could make a movie about this comic book. I’m at least 45% sure. You can take that to the bank. . THURSDAY Like porn, but without the porn. So, this movie is coming out. Rafe has a video camera and isn’t afraid to use it. Another edition of the video podcast has been produced and you’d be kinda rude not to at least watch it. It would also be rude not to go to the next X-Files movie. Yeah, another one is coming out. In like a few weeks. Seriously. FRIDAY For the love of all that is right and good, make a damn Flash movie. For the love of all that is right and good, do not make this sequel. Friday was all about movies I’d like to see produced and those I wouldn’t. DC and Warner Brothers got together and tried to figure out how to not keep screwing up this property they have. They want to Marvelize their movie experience. Doesn’t that sound like something you get at Baskin-Robbins. “I’d like a small Marvelize in a sugar cone.” Anyway, while DC is trying to figure out how to make me happy with a Flash or Green Lantern movie, someone is making me unhappy by threatening to bring back Sex in the City. Great, it was nice that women could find excuses to drink and giggle about sex with their divorced and unhappily married friends, but enough ok? That’s all for another week of news blending. It’s like what you get at Jamba Juice, but cheaper and not quite as healthy. If you liked it or didn’t, leave some feedback.
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